I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
