I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
