i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
