you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
