Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
