Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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