Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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