I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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