I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
