Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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