WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
