I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
