I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
