Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
