I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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