So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
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