i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cannot find my penis.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
