I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
