Sry I called you an 8
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
