the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The air taste purple.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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