so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
