he puts the penis in happiness.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
In America we eat man semen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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