Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
