I bet he comes in French.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
