Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
