I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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