youre lurking in front of me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
