So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
