I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
