He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
