Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
