Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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