There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's like iHOP with fire
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
