mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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