'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
