I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
