Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
