at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
