Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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