We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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