His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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