Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He shit in the fireplace
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
