dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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