69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
