we're blogging at a bar
The maid of honor just puked.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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