So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
