He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
