I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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