You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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