i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Its about making memories worth repressing
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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