Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
