my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
